you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
