question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
