forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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