so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
