I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
