the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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