dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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