I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
