how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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