I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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