the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
