Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
