He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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