I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
