I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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