the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
