Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
