life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
