if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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