You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
