I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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