Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
