whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
