I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
