Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
