I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
