I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i now understand why vodka
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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