her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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