so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
