He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
