I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
