dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
