So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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