I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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