When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I could fuck to npr.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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