Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're a waste of cheezeits
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