Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
