maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
