no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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