He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
