so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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