: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I AM VODKA MAN
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
