my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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