thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
