May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
