I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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