I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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