This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
