so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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