Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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