am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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