it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
